he who holds my heart.

Are we meant to be or did we just happen?
You are the sun & I am the moon.
day and night. a walking oxymoron.
We found something beautiful in a hopeless place.

I remember the day we met. & I don't remember much of 19.
Your smile drove me wild. Your eyes met mine & we shook
hands and I felt electricity throughout my whole body.
I knew you were going to be the one.
The one that takes over my heart and soul.

That night I couldn't stop thinking about you, but I

couldn't even remember your name. How do you forget
a name of someone like you? Someone that would end
up being the most intense experience of my life so far,

So many nights of touching, fucking, holding hands, whispers,
laughter, bong hits, and too many cigarettes.  So many mornings
of smiles, cuddles, pancakes, and unwanted goodbyes.
I remember it all so vividly.

You are the first boy I actually loved (not just the idea of). Not just because
you love me, I have found myself staying in unwanted relationships simply
for the idea of having someone that loves me.

You are different. I swear I can feel you my bones. If I close my eyes
I can trace every inch and arch of your beautiful body and face. Oh, your
face, your face is my heart. Your smell intoxicates me.
Your skin is smooth and warm. It feels like home.
I can feel you deep in my soul.
 
Can't you see I'd do anything in the world for you?
I'd give you the world if such things were possible.


Tick Tock, Tick Tock
Somehow I'm always waiting for you.
Saving smiles and love for you.
You reach in and reach right back out again.
You're never where I want you to be.

Push & pull baby, push & pull. One minute you're here and the next
it feels like it was all a dream. I can feel you flowing through my veins like heroin.
Taking over every inch of my being.

Leaving me consumed with love or leaving my empty and thirsty for more. 

"When you find true love it lives on, that's why I stay here"
 
So many nights of screaming , crying and pain. So many nights
of broken doors, words we didn't mean, packed & unpacked bags.
"I'm can't do this anymore" "I can't do this anymore"
So many mornings of silence, negativity, regret and anger.
Some of it is a bit of a blur.

Why can't you see that you're the one I belong to?
You captivated me. I'm yours.
You only throw me bits and pieces.
Leaving me with doubt and confusion.
It pierces into me like a knife.

Those words you said. Those words you said.
I can hear them on repeat in my head.
Making me feel empty and insignifigant
You blow me off like dust off your shelf
Expecting everything to be "okay"
You don't get that it never is.
I sit there with bad tastes of abandonment
& hopelessness left in my mouth.

  Starting to drown in a sea of sadness
You resuscitate me with empty promises
and my pure love for you instinctively
draws me right back to you.

Addicted to you and I'm always wanting more.
Fill me with your love and affection.
Take me in until there is nothing left.

It's been 1,278 days with you so far.
I wouldn't give up a second of it.
You are the love of my life.
I can't possibly give up on something like that

 

It's scientifically proven that love makes you crazy
&Baby, you have drove me to insanity.